Sunday, November 28, 2004

Good News..

Guess what... You won't believe it... I was chatting online with my ex n I really.. really... dun feel sad abt it liao leh.. (which ex am I talking abt?) Well... make a guess..) He's like trying to say things to hurt me so that I will stop loving him... (very nice of him hor..) But come on.... I've never mourned over a guy as long as I did for him. it's abt 1.5 months!! And if I still haven't got over him yet.... I'd be damned.... BTW, if u r reading my blog too... I want to thank U... Your cruel actions helped me alot! My passion have never rekindle in my history and I doubt it will ever be... in chinese, u call that, gd horse never return to eat the grass that has been forsaken... so... I'm born in the year of horsie.. I've never forsaken you e first 2 times and that's why I allow myself to patch back with u.. But once, I made the decision to go... I will never return.. So, u dun worry abt me lah... ; ) Hey, u! If u got a great guy for me... I certainly hope u can intro him to me! hee.. I'm ready.. ; ) try me..

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Great story to share with you....

Hi everybody! Well, I just received a forwarded email below and find that this is the kind of email that we should share with each other... We need this.. I guess I needed it a lot... I need such positive stories to motivate me or to bring my hopes and faith back to this realistic n negative world of mine!! Hope this will help you too... We're not easily contented with things as we are taught to keep acheiving and we r born to strive in order to live in this competitive world of ours.. aND We learnt to pamper ourselves by giving ourselves what we want.. Why should we deprive ourselves from something pretty, fresh and more interesting things/people? Yes, we all love pretty things/people, but admiring is something.. having it is another!! You! You! You! You need to wake up!!! Arrrhhhhh.... sigh... Somebody!! Somebodyy... PLS Wake this person UP!!!!!! Well, I'm going to wake up if he doesn't do it soon.. To my married and unmarried friends: When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was the scene of ten years ago. The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes. Dew came into my life. It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, You are the kind of man who best draws girls eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls. Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside and said, You go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment. One day I said to her in a slight joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious. When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes. Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! . At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer. A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again. She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember . You carried me in your arms , she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning. I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don t tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face. On the third day, she whispered to me, The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer. On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, All my dresses have grown fatter. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it s time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, talking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old. I held her tightly and said, Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy. I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won t divorce. I m serious. She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old. Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, it is the realization of how much you already have

Meaning of life..

Well, sometimes, we question ourselves the meaning of life... and the purpose of living.. I believe everyone goes through that. And the worst time to go through that is when you are having a very down mood... WEll, my advice here... Do some soul searching before that very day comes to you.. It's not easy to handle when that question come to you at the wrong timing.. Well, my life goal is very simple and it's so simple that not many people can accept. It is, just to live happily!! Well, how happy is happy? I'd try not to let myself cry or feel sad, lousy or miserable.. nor will I allow anyone else to make me feel that way.. Life is too short to allow myself to go through those tortures... I love my parents and I love myself so much.. heee.... My only fear now is... I'd become selfish by seeking for tooo much love... heee... ; ) Hopefully, this page of blog will always be filled with happy moments and enjoyable times.. I hope this blog can bring out your happiness and get you to be more enthusiastic about life too! Hee.... I'm becoming more and more emotional these days.... Oh my... GOD!!!

Hmm.... this look cool too... hehehhehe... Main thing is... your cam must be able to make me look slimmer... heheheh.. Posted by Hello

Taken in the lift... Great Phone u have Anabelle... Sony Ericsson phone with 1.3 megapixel cam function... Posted by Hello

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Bintan Trip!


Bintan trip... It's definitely great fun to hang out with old friends once again!! Well, we get to chill out like our school days.. watch dvd in the resort, drink alcohol mixed by our home grown bartender and play at the beach picking up seashells and other living sea creatures. Well, of course.. not missing out the partial seafood dinner.. You know why? Bintan is such an expensive place.. More expensive to hang out than Singapore, man.... They chop u like nobody's business.. They collect 10% GOvernment Tax, 10% Service Charge and their service sucks!!!!  Posted by Hello

Saturday, November 13, 2004

No Jogging for U! I've got Bintan Trip though!!! ; )

OH my God.. I ain't jogging today.. cos I'm down with blocked nose n possible sore throat.. so sad.. wondering if I'm going to grow much fatter this weekend when I dun exercise??? Sigh.. But well.. Can't wait to go Bintan tomorrow morning!!! hee hee.. Haven't told my mummy.. abt it actually.. Dun have a bikini to wear tomorrow.. So, my friends are lucky.. they dun have to puke.. or maybe they still have to.. cos I'm still going down to the sea to play with water at least.. Am I going to build human sandcastle? or.. just bring a book there to read? or bring cards to play? Or.. hmmm.. just go there and drink n eat, just relax? Sometimes, I have interest n priority for so many things that it's really hard to choose not to go for something.. like the astro festival talks today at SP.. I got to study for my nihongo test this coming thursday leh.. Confirm fail if I dun study.. Cos I have consistently been missing my classes every alternate class n have never submitted any of my homework.. Know teacher is quite disappointed with me.. but what to do... hee... Sorry hor, Sensei..

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

I've grown fatter!!!

I have been suspecting myself growing these days as I've been eating so much more than usual... Even though I still exercise.. but well, last weekend, jog only once, this weekend, hike only once.. and this coming weekend, I'll only go jogging once as I'll be going Bintan for a short trip.. Die liao.. Die liao.. When I woke up this morning, I decided to find out the truth.. whether I really did put on weight!! And to my horror... it's a fact that I've put on weight and I've put on 2.5kg since the slimmest 2 weeks ago!!! DAMN!!! Aiyah.. from my waist measurement, I can guess liao.... sigh.. : ((((

Monday, November 08, 2004

Time flies..

Know this is so cliche.. but time really flies, boy!!!!! Time really wait for no man.... Damn.. not even a girl like me..? Oh.. sorry, I'm a old maid liao.. kekekkek.. Can you believe it? I measure my waist today.. Cos my colleague says that if my waist over hip measurement is less than 80%, then, it's considered healthy range.. Damn.. I just wan to measure if I'm in the healthy range.. and it's not!! My waist is 35.5 inches!! Actually, I didn't know I have such a wide waist lor... Actually, not too bad l ah.. at least I have waist okay... 39.5, 35.5, 40.. okay lah hor? kekekkeke... still fat, I know...: ( DUN NEED U TO TELL ME !!!!! arrrgghhh...

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Bored... Super Bored.. Very bored.. Help! Help!

Today is very much a wasted day for me.. Well, done 2 hours of charity drive out plaza singapura.. Only raise less than $50 today.. Appt postponed today.. 2 somemore.. then, arrange to watch movie with a friend.. and he told me he's too sick to go today liao.. dunno true or not.. well, the rain seemed to have stop.. I wish to skip class today leh... My best friend is going to scold me liao.. kekekek... Wat am I going to do later..?

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Hee... Up & Up Again!!!

Heheheheh... guess what? The underwriters managed to pull the case through for me!! And, I am in time for my BONUSES !!!! HURRAY !!! Life is great! Hehehhe.... It'll be greater in time to come. MY PAY DAY !!! HURRAY!!! I will earn extra $388 + 200 Bonuses this MONTH!!! hehehehe... If it's little to you, probably, it's time for you to do some savings with me.. hehehehhe.. We issue bonuses too.. Save more, we issue more lor... kekkekek.. Anyway hor.. Life is really full of ups n downs.. I'm enjoying it right now!! Cheers to LIFE !! IT's all a game, yeah? Play it and have fun while playing.. Dun be too serious, just do ur best, I guess... I will make it... kekkeke... I would like to thank my boss, the underwriters, ANABELLE for driving me around.. n my Clients for helping me.. hehhehehe. can I be anymore dramatic?? kekkeke.. ;)

Monday, November 01, 2004

Sad.. Sob Sob..

People work on Trust.. If there's no trust, guess we are only left with one choice. Try to build it. Well, Just this morning, I was so happy abt a lot of things and suddenly, I was shot down because of this crucial case that can't go thru (Needed it for the month of OCtober to earn that BONUSES of $600).. Life is full of ups n downs. Or is it me? What is moodswing? I suspect I have it.. Anyway, later, there'll be a meeting with my boss n one of the MGT staff.. Dunno what to expect from myself n them though.. : ((((((